A Stable Beginning

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Monday, January 4, 2010

I spent most of the day trying to figure out why I dragged all 5 of my girls out of the house at 830AM into 26 degree weather just to find out that the receptionist scheduled us for a pediatric doctor appointment when in fact we were to be seeing a pediatric gastrologist. Which turns out not to really be a pediatric GI doctor, but will see pediatric patients. Once we found the right spot to be in after 30 minutes of waiting in the waiting room, the GI doctors receptionist asked if I wanted to wait longer in there waiting room for him to arrive for work. Ummm, NO!!! I can think of better ways to spend my time. So, the girls and I headed home, and no sooner than we walked into the door did the phone ring. The caller id said it was the doctors office. When I picked up the phone the receptionist asked what my daughter needed to be seen for. I once again explained to her that she was born with duodenal atresia and that she had it repaired on her third day of her life by doctors at the Naval Medical Center and we were told to follow up at 4mo, 8mo, 12mo, and every year thereafter. The receptionist told me that she had never heard of deuodenal atresia and that the doctor wondered why they sent us to him. WHAT!?! Excuse me, did I just hear you right???? I was in complete shock at this point. I got off the phone and called our insurance company up and we are now waiting for ANOTHER referral to either the Naval Medical Center or the local Children's hospital, where they have pediatric specialists. Sheesh!!!!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

365~003 I believe

Brrr...It's cold outside!!! To cold to go out and take shots with the baby. Hopefully it will warm up soon. Mike bought me this hoodie sweatshirt on Friday morning from the local Christian bookstore while picking up his new Bible. I love it, what a proclamation to wear loud and Proud!

Forever in my heart

I knew it was coming, I sensed it...and so did he. G was being moved... Again. The fourth time in the 24 months that I had him in my care. My heart was broken...shattered. WHY, I called out to God, WHY!?!

I was his "stable beginning", my daycare was the place that he knew he was loved unconditionally.

Hasn't he been through enough?

How much can one child take until they are... broken.

I scrambled to reach my deployed husband by email who was 18+ hours ahead of me. Please, let us save G from having to move again. Let him be ours, FOREVER. We can be the family that he yearns for.

But it was too late.

Time ran out for us...

and I had to let him go. See him walk out my front door that Friday evening to never return again. That was a hard weekend for me in late March 2009. I didn't even write my husband his daily email until late Sunday night, because I was shattered into tiny little pieces. Oh, I was touched by G in words that I can't even begin to put on paper. That little boy taught me so much and yet I was the one that was to be doing the teaching.

My prayers for 2010 are that he is safe, happy and most of all...

LOVED.